Spring forward.
Fall back.
This handy rhyme to remember which way the clocks move also serves as a stellar metaphor for the energetic atmosphere of the season. Spring forward is to emerge, to socialize, to take action in movement, chatter, growth, a freshening up and dusting off of things and of self. To fall back is to retreat, go within, become still and wrapped up in real and symbolic blankets. The air is cooler, headlamps are necessary, and some of the best sport and movies are keeping many of us snugged into the couch.
A few years back I was doing my birthday morning ritual of revisiting hopes of the past year and writing out my dreams for the future when I found myself stuck in an unfamiliar way. Wanting for more had come easy to that point - a different job or house or relationship or weight on the scale or race - always a box to check. Staring at a blank page, I felt this strong desire for less; for quiet, for contemplation on what I had, for space in my packed calendar and total acceptance of my body as it was/is. This caused me to panic, a panic I spilled out to my husband.
"What does it mean if I don't want anything anymore? Who am I if I'm not moving forward? Not doing something? Will my passions disintegrate into apathy? What if this is as big as my life gets?! AHHH!!"
"What if," he said calmly after I'd exhausted myself of words, "right now life isn't about going wider, it's about going deeper?"
Holy shit.
It never occurred that deeper was an option, that desire didn't have to mean an endless series of boxes to check or things to change. Not only does life not have to be an endless spring of leaping forward, it shouldn't be. There is a time for every season and to LIVE with a capital "L" is to move out and in and around these moods, these callings.
What are you falling back to this week? This month? How does your relationship to running play a part in that?
Our Woodlands running community is embracing this falling back by going back to Ashland for both runs this week and, yes, with headlamps. It's going to be a rainy week and we are SO fortunate to have the Ashland watershed which gives us a number of options for play. Looking forward to celebrating this changing of the seasons with many of you AND in putting together details for both the upcoming Gravy Gallop on Thanksgiving morning and the Jingle Jolly at its new venue, Dunbar Farms, in December.
May this week bring with it a renewed optimism and joy.